I placed a hesitant question mark at the end of the above title because it's hard for me to decide if I have faith or lack it. Religious talk is usually taboo, but hey, this is my personal diary so I'll talk about it.
From my many open statements, most people form the opinion that I am a rational atheist. I avoid talking about faith most of the time but the reality is faith has always been a big thing since the day I was born. I have served the church all my life even as a toddler. But if I am asked if I think God exists, I will have to ask if you want a rational or an emotional answer.
Emotionally, I cannot envisage how I can be free from the faith and the church. Not that I want to. My family is deeply religious and the faith has always been the guiding force of my childhood right up to my early adulthood. And I have continued to serve the church in different ways.
Rationally, I am unable to see how anyone can support the premise that the supernatural exists. I have gone through every single argument put forward by Christian apologists (those whose duty it is to defend the faith) and each one of them fails before the searchlight of reason.
Some say that divine truths cannot be the subject of a debate but the moment you say that, you have taken faith out of the realm of reason. Anything that claims to be reasonable cannot be beyond reasoning. In every instance when the subject of the divine is thrown to the debate floor, it gets mangled beyond recognition.
But as long as religion stays out of the realm of reason, it's fine and I will always keep my faith that way. It's the subject of my heart and not my head. I make my views known to everyone who knows me and my church right up to my bishop knows where I stand on these matters.
This strange dichotomy runs through every facet of my life and I have never kept it concealed from anyone. It's the same with my naturism. Everyone who knows me including my church knows I am a naturist. It's not like I'm so different from everybody else: most of us have our own little dichotomies; it's just that many of us keep them under wraps. I know many naturists who keep their naturism under wraps. Keeping naturism under wraps is of course an amusing contradiction in terms.
Because of the pandemic, churches are now very different. Choirs and church orchestras are all banned in my country. But I still play music for the church through the internet. Here is a pic taken at home during one such church service. My phone only takes my top half. This is a really hilarious photo that captures the dichotomy that runs through my entire life - belief vs non-belief, naturist vs clothed church musician.
Fantastic
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